CARD'z 5th Anniversary

August 15, 2011

Five years after CARD'z was formed... Oh.. I never talked about them here in this blog huh...? Well.. we had our own blog site in multiply..  Which I haven't updated in a while.. My bad.. I'm quite busy.. Y'know that m'dear blog.. Hahaha!! =))

So anyways... I just practically wanna talk about how we celebrated the 5th year of our friendship...

 I was thinking about how to celebrate it this year since like last month... Because last year we were unable to celebrate it together... So I really wanna be with them... Planned lot's of things in my head and finally a week before August 15... Rose Ann and I saw that advertisement of "Manila Bay Cruise" at Harbor Square... We've decided to share the expenses for our two best friends just for us to be together on our special day... I was so excited that I called and booked for four right away... Plan, plan, plan.. Imagining stuffs in my head... Full of excitement as I've said... When suddenly it needs to be cancelled... :( All my excitement drained out..Well it wasn't actually cancelled as in cancelled... We just have to move it on a nearest Saturday... But still.. I was so upset.. Though Rose Ann and Czarina console me.. The sched's been fixed again on the 20th this time.. The feeling was so unlike the previous days... I stop thinking and being excited about it... And the fact that we have no idea where on earth can Ailene be... Whether she'll be able to join us or not.. Makes all my plans so vague... :| I wanted so bad for the four of us to be together like before... I wanted to see us whole again... Haay.. I felt like circumstances won't allow it... As far as we know Ailene is pregnant. That's all... We don't have any idea how she is or whether she does think of us at all... And as the 15th coming closer and closer... I'm losing my hope that we'll be whole.. And suddenly I got fed up with my thought... Told m'self that if Ailene won't be with us then that's it... I'm giving up.

I'm the one who keeps saying that "this friendship is for a lifetime".. "best friends forever"... "I'm up for a lifetime friendship" and other stuffs like that.. But I'm also the one who keeps bringing up the idea of "giving up"... Full of contradictions.. I know... It's quite annoying... But I guess that's why this group was formed... To have the other side.. To have neutral side... To have other opinion... I guess that's what makes us up... To be able to guide each other on each decisions we make... Or just a simple support... Thankfully I had them at my side tonight when I rant about how I'll give up on Ailene when she won't be with us tonight. All day long myself was battling against me... About whether or not to give up on A... I don't know... I just felt like t.. :)) Then when I told Rose Ann and Czarina about it.. Rose Ann brought up the "PRIORITY THING"... She had a point.. Ailene has her own family already... And she can't chose us over her son and soon-to-be daughter... That was clear to me... But as myself kept battling with me... Inside m'head I was thinking... We all had different priorities.. And I'm not even asking anyone to chose... The only thing I demand from her is time... And the feeling that she also wants us to be with her.. the effort.. But I made my thought shut up..

 CARD'z

     blowing the number 5 candle

♥♥♥♥

Happy B-day!!!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I was the kind of person who thinks highly of signs asked from the Almighty... And I've been asking the sign of whether or not to give up on A... I was serious when I told  Cza &Rose Ann that I'll let Ailene go when she isn't home tonight when we dropped by.. But as we were on our way to A's house.. I found myself praying "Sana andun sya..." Meaning.. I don't wanna let her go at all. And taadaa!!! She was home!.. :D Guess we have heaven's blessings! :)

To have this friendship for a lifetime means countless of...
1. Anniversaries
2. Tears
3. Tampuhan
4. Inisan
5. Kaartehan
6. Kalokohan
7. Outings
8. Frappes
9. Foods
10. Kwentuhan
11. Secrets
12. Messages
13. Ideas
14. Memories
15 Everything

iloveus!♥


*Special thanks to Goldilocks for the cake and Starbucks for the frappes.. Special thanks to R&D for ehem... Financing everything up.. =))*

Fixed! :)

Yey! Finally I can open you to public again!!! :)) There's been something I'd needed to fix... And it' fixed now... So yeah.. =)) Sorry for changing your URL and stuffs.. anyways.. I'm currently anoyed right now.. *sigh* :| All of a sudden I don't wanna blog right now.. Grrr!! >_< But yeah.. welcome back! ;)

Thesis???

July 14, 2011 9:45 AM

Wooh! Blog! Hahaha!! :)) well... I'm here alone in the new college library here in my school.. My friend Cheenie came with me but she had to go somewhere so she left.. Haaay! I'm suppose to do my thesis... But ugh! It's not really my thing... Though I know I really gotta work on it... Aiish!! There's too much to do... Oh oh oh!!! I'm excited and not excited about tonight!! Potter Night! Haay! It's gonna be the last movie... I can still remember the first time I saw Daniel on the big screen... The first potter film.. I grew up loving him (both of them)... And I can't believe it's the last time I'll see my Dan as Harry... Tonight, a part of my childhood ends... And I hope... In the near future... I'll see Dan as him...<3 I just so love him!! He's the only reason why I still believe that dreams do come true!ü

When your eyes saw something that's not meant for it to see...

What's a good thing to do about it...? Keep quiet..? Pretend that you never saw anything..? Or be a spoiler and tell the world about it..? I did both. And I'm not explaining how. hahaha!! :)) Ok, no more intros... Let's go straight forward...!

I can still remember the blog that I posted way back last October... Some things to talk about

and 'twas followed by a blog about  "ending the feud" last Nov...


Well.. Everything was going well right now.. I just finished my PHN practicum with my lovely batch mates... And I currently don't have anytime for little filthy petty thingies... Until I saw what I saw... What I saw was a private thing... It was not really meant for me to see.. But the funny thing is... It is about me. I don't know whether it was intended for me to see... I don't know how or why it was leaked out... I just sign in to my fb account one day and I suddenly have a notification that I was added to a secret group... So I checked out what's inside it.

As I opened the group named "team doraemon"... I can't have myself to just close it and not read everything inside it... I was surprised to find my very own fans club... I saw a lot of my pics posted at the wall of the group with harsh comments below every pic.. Those comments were form the other members of the group... Should I say more about them?... Well... It's like a classroom set up.. The members of the group was practically my dearest batch mates. I was hurt.. Degraded... All of a sudden I wanna hate all of them... Then I checked out the dates of the posts... 5 months ago... If you'll count... It was just after the ceasefire that Yan-yan made... All of a sudden I felt just laughing.. I pity them... C'mmon those were the times when I don't really care and give a damn about them... And as I was living my life peacefully and happily.. They were in front of their PC's browsing throughout my entire album... Messing with my pictures... The way I look... Mind you, my boobs played a good part... As I was busying myself with lots of things... The cowards were busy hating me.. talking and ranting about me. And suddenly I felt like thanking them... C'mmon! For the time that they spent and wasted on browsing my albums and for talking about me... M'gosh I appreciate it big time! I never knew I was that popular with their group!

BTW, I saw that group in the middle of our PHN pract.. I felt like I don't wanna continue my pract that time... But then... I'm bor a fighter y' know... But I hate fighting with plastics.. hahaha!! :)) And I hate acting plastic.. I'm always for the truth... SO it was kinda hard for me... To go on my everyday with them... Knowing what they have to say about me.. And those act of kindness that they're giving me.. it's as if I wanna yell them to be true!.. But anyhows... I did it... Nakipagplastican ako sa mga plastic.

I don't mind them messing with me... But you know what gets into my nerves...? The pics of my loved ones, (who doesn't even know them by the way) there at my fan page... Being talked about as well... So let me just put it all here... I wanna answer all their posts.. But hell! That was their private time... And I invaded it... Quits lang.. :) I'll put my answers to their posts here in my blog... I don't really care if one day they come across with this post. :))

First and foremost... a pic of my brother taken on my last b-day... The hell they care what he's wearing...? They thought it's pink.. Well, I dunno if they're just color blind or something... But what my bro was wearing was color red.. And so what if ever that was indeed a pink one...? My bro loves me so much that he wears what's cool for my eyes to see... So what was it for them...?

Next, a pic of my ate Cherry (my cousin's wife) taken on m'last b-day as well... Wearing black and having a black background... Seriously..? The hell they care...? i love black as much as I love pink! and if ever they're referring to her complexion... Well, it's not our fault to be Filipinos and have dark complexion and not be so trying hard to whiten our skins! We can't afford to buy whitening pills or go to skin doctors! We had a better way of spending money! And beauty is not everything for us... Now if that's a sin for them... Then I don't know who their god is...

My best friend Charlon's car that was color pink...  They sound so pissed about it!
And one even commented "kaya love nia ung best friend nia kc love din pink" So..? they thought I was in love with my best friend?? Come on! If ever I'm in love with him...we shouldn't have stayed best friends! And please! I'm not like them.. Bunch of double talkers who befriends people just because they need something from them and turns away once they got what they want.

For goodness sake! What's up with them being pissed about me liking and loving pink...? As far as I know they have their own respective favorite colors... And I don't care 'bout their colors...! I wonder why they're so pissed about it..? And it's not my fault if the people 'round me.. the ones who love me, wants to wear pink or have pink things to please me...

I was even labeled as "hot and spicy".. i dunno... maybe because of pink...? well.. i hate spicy foods... But it's better if they made it: "sweet & spicy" ;) i'll appreciate that more.

Me wearing black on my b-day... That was my day.. Can't they give that to me...? I'll wear what I wanna wear.. This is a free country and wearing black during your b-day was not against the constitution.

M'boobs! WTH??! They even got pics of my last last last summer getaway with my two bff... Hello..? anu naman sa kanila kung lawlaw ung boobs ko...? Nasa genes un...! Ganun boobs ng mama ko.. gusto nilang tignan..? Ano? feeling nila hindi na ko virgin..? Anu naman sa kanila...?! at kung gusto ko man ipakita...? Bakit..? Sa kanila ba un..? Kailangan ko magpalam sa kanila...? At kung nauumay man sila... EH hindi ko naman kasi sa kanila pinapakita! Ba't nila tinitignan...? Makagawa lang ng issue... Lahat papansinin...? Kahit kelan hindi ko pinagmalaking maganda ko o sexy ako. Aminado akong mataba ako, eh ano? Sa ganito ko eh! At hindi ako nahihiya! Anung pakialam ko kung pangit ako sa paningin nila? Hindi naman lahat ng mga mata ng tao dito sa mundo ay katulad ng mga mata nilang puro pangit ang napupuna. I don't live for beauty.. It's something that fades...

One more thing... It was between Happy and Yan-yan... They're talking about my album "color me"... Hindi ko alam kung anu man ung bagay na ikina-iinsecure nila saken... I don't want to use the term "insecure". Hello?! Ang gaganda at sexy nila para pag-aksayahan ako ng oras at panahong ka-insecuran! Anu ba...? Nakakatawa na lang! Basta.. it was about how yanyan wants to make an album with pictures of her stuffs and gadgets w/c can only be seen by me.. I was laughing out my heart out when I read that.. I wanna say: "Hello teh?.. Ok klng..? Alam mu ba nung mga oras na un... Hindi ko naisip silipin o tignan man lang fb wall mo!? Kaya kahit magpost kapa ng album na ako lng ang mkakakita... Di ko parin makikita kasi hindi ko naman titignan... Besides.. eh ano naman saken kung magpost ka nung mga stufs and gadgets mo? Hindi naman ako inggitera eh.. Chaka db cnabi ko naman sayo...? Wala akong pakialam sa 'yo." It's not my fault if simple things make me happy... It's those simple things that always make someone's life complete. Not for them I guess.

My best friend Ikay was also talked about there... Wow! She was living her life happily without thinking of them... And yet, she was there... Being talked about as well... Dianne showed a pic of her having a big tummy... And her stupidness pissed  me off... The rest didn't saw the photos because Ikay was not their friend in fb.. And Dianne was bragging about how big Ika'ys tummy was in the pic... WTF?! Buntis yun 'teh! Malamang malaki tiyan diba?? May nakita kang buntis na 6 and up months na hindi malaki ang tiyan..? Ang nakakatawa yung tiyan ko.. Hindi buntis pero malaki... Yung tiyan mo din try mong i-check?!!? Buntis ka ba..?

Even my beautiful god daughter was there!.. Ikay's baby Cara... I was so disappointed with Av... she cursed and stated how thankful she was that Cara was not born on the same date that she was... Now that post was posted during the month of April.. Just recently huh?.. And we were together at SI!.. All these time..? I thought she got over it.. And to think... Ikay didn't do her any harm... Goodness gracious! Doesn't she know..? We were more thankful that Cara was not born the same day she was! At least.. Cara will not be afraid on standing for what she truly believes and for being her true self. Cara will be unlike her! Avril was my friend, the only one among them that I don't disgust calling "my friend"... She trust me as far as  know... Well, she's never been wrong on trusting me... I'm always true to her even after everything... I've been true to her even if I know she isn't on me... Maybe she'll stay as my friend... But I was just so not into trusting her ever again... She also posted pictures of me... The thing I'm not expecting from her is to be a coward like her groupies.

AM was there.. Well, she wronged me once... she lied to me.. She paid for it countless times though.. She's still m'friend... She even got me tickets for (NSN) my love's concert! They can't get over her. She can be annoying at times...  But that's just her.

Cheenie was there as well... My poor friend... She's not doing anything to hurt them or to cause them harm! I don't know why these bunch of ladies acts like these... Do they really enjoy humiliating people..? That's just bullshit! They can't even say the words they say when they're facing the person... When they're in the real world and not at the back of their PC's screens. I'm not even sure if they're suppose to be called ladies. I wonder if they get fulfillment from things like these..? I mean The people being talked about doesn't know and therefore is not affected... Who's time are being wasted...? Who are full of insecurities?? Who put burdens in their hearts?... Who are cowards..? Who exactly look stupid...?

What hurt me most...? Was to see April's and Kesiah's posts and harsh comments... To think that they're once my closest friends... It pains me much. Particularly with Kees.. I don't know... I can't remember... Doing her anything that might cause her harm or any bad... And yet, those comments that was posted by her... It was as if I tried to kill her...! Me being sumbungera?.. Does she even had proof...? Me being close to a prof that they loath who's been like a 2nd mother to me?? Me being myself...? The worst thing with them...? They only listen and believe in one side of the story w/o hearing out the rest. Unfair if I might say. They're like puppets. I don't even know where the hell they're coming from.

One thing's I'm sure forever..? PLASTIC silang lahat! No exemptions!
1. Benolirao, Kristelle Dianne
2. Del Rosario, Kesiah Joy
3. Dela Cruz, Jonavelle April
4. Nepomuceno, Dianne Michelle
5. Palao, Jollybeth Charmaine
6. Romeral, Mary Joy
7. Tan, Neala Jayne
The seven most plasctic people I've ever met! "TEAM DORAEMON"

My poor doraemon... He was one of my fave cartoon chracter!!:)

Teka linawin ko lang ah... Anu bang ibig sabihin ng "walang pakialam"? Ako kasi.. pag sinabi kong wala akong pakialam sa'yo... Kahit magkatabi tayo, nakatalikod o nakaharap ka man sa 'kin... Kahit anong gawin mo... Kahit hindi tayo nagkikita... WALA AKONG PAKIALAM. Hindi kita iisipin... It's as if.. you don't exist.. Yun ang walang pakialam para saken...  Yun ang ginawa ko sa kanila... I shut them off  in my life, in my world... But them.. The mere fact that they were talking about me behind my back... I don't think they don't care about me... They care so much that they hated me. It's their grudges... And burdens... Keep it to themselves.. Again I don't care.. I don't hate them... In fact, I love them so much...! With no sarcasm... I do love them. But I don't give a damn about them!

No one ever really put an end  on these.. No closure..I'm sure there'll always be a ghost from this feud that'll haunt us forever. But as I said... Everything's been said and done... I'm not perfect.. I did hate them... But that pass... I've prayed hard for them... And I've forgiven them even if they did not ask for my forgiveness... Even if they were never sorry about what they did... It feels great to forgive people... Love thy enemies as the bible said...  I strongly believe in karma and in heaven and hell.. In judgement day.. The least thing I want is to be like them. So I'll move on... It's not as if I didn't said anything harsh about them... I did too.. Once, twice.. Who's counting...? From now on.. I call it quits. Sooner in my life... I'll be laughing about these non-sense.


"No amount of makeup can conceal an ugly heart. True beauty shines from within. Physical beauty fades, but a beautiful heart is forever." 


I am a bad girl in a nice way and a good girl in a mean way.
x.o.x.o -D

Bugging Blog!

It's Monday! A day before going back to school! I'm so not ready!

Wooh! I wanna blog about something but decided not to... I was staring blankly at the monitor secs ago and felt like a whole lot of blog had been finished inside my head.. Yet, right now as I try hard to remember it.. It just.. fades away! How annoying can that be...?

Anyways.. I bought my new i.Touch today... well, yesterday to be exact.. iloveit! :) I don't know.. I used to say that Touchey was enough for me... Then he was broken and the next thing I knew I have the need to buy a new one.. I still miss Touchey.. I was so attached to him.. And now that he's been replaced.. I guess he'll be peaceful and be happy for me... He's still my one and only favorite gadget though..

N-O-T-H-I-N-G

It's the last week of vacation! So.. how's my summer..? Well.. I wasn't actually on a vacation... For two whole month I was completing my hours of practicum for school requirements!.. It's been a mixture of hard work, experience, realizations and lessons in life!

I finally got the courage to write here on my blog again... Yeah.. you just read the word "courage"... I've been blaming time for a long time... let's change it... haha! 'cause you know... it really does take a lot of courage to write in a blog! Yes...? or no..? Whatever! :))

I'm quite bored.. Y'know... I wanna try other things, go to a different place... Explore the world! I wanna do a lot of things! Yet, resources hinders me! Oooh! I'm out of topic again... Why is it that when I'm not facing the computer or I don't have time there's always too many things to talk about, words, and even a whole story fills my head and when I'm right here typing... there's none. Nothing! why is that??? :|

Haaay! I probably should make an outline... But I hate organizing! I'm always trying so hard to be organized but I always ended up messy and happy.. :)) So why still try..? :))

My Heart's on Grief

Daniella's i.Pod Touch 2nd Generation

"Touchey"

November 2008 - May 2011

     

This is how I'll let you go my touchey... It's been awesome having you by my side... I've been so attached to you... It's so hard to let you go... And knowing my fault... I can't help but be sad and upset. I'm sorry... For making you suffer like that. Thank you for all those moments that you stayed by my side...

    Touchey is the very first gadget I had to call my own. I bought him from my own allowance... I was so happy to have him... I love accessing the net in my fave Starbucks store from him... I love writing my thoughts in him... I love playing apps on him.. And most especially... I love listening music from him.. I'm a music lover.. And almost all of my favorite songs was loaded in him.. And yes.. He's a guy. Haaay! I'm gonna miss him big time!

 

"It hurts to think that you're the reason why something you love had to go."

Touchey's lost was indeed my fault... I tried to revive him... but probably he really had to go... Everything happens for a reason as I always say... 

Updates on Me

Blog! I miss this!! haha! :)) It's been quite a while... So... I wanna talk and talk but I don't know where and how to begin! But anyways, the hell with intros! Let's do this before I fall asleep!

My summer 2011...How was it so far..? Well I just finished a 150 hours practicum in Food Service and I'm about to start a 200/250 hours practicum for Public Health Nutrition.. Sounds school-like?? Well... That's my whole summer is all about! School requirements..School works! Oh! I make it sound terrible right..? Hahaha!! Well.. Schooling is... not that nice... But somehow it is s good as perfect. Okay.. I'm not really talking about schooling here.. But I just did.. eh? Ako na magulo.. Lagi naman.... Anyways... As I was talking about my summer... At first I am really upset on not having a break.. But as I started the practicum for FSS at Sweet Inspirations... Somehow I realized that it is the most productive summer so far in my entire life! I've learned lots of things and I was somehow enlightened about what life really is... It's not easy to work... School is way better...! Yet how dare me complains about school works..? Okay.. Here we go again about school thingies... hahaha!! :)) I better stop this.

I wanna talk about other things... Lot's had happened on the first semester of the year 2011... And those things happened as fast as lightning... I didn't even had time to write about it... I slacked off and failed to update my diary... Haaay! And I just had this late hour to blog... This happens once in a blue moon... Sometimes  I'm envious of those bloggers who can update their blog and writes pretty well... I don't know why but I think I suck at managing my time! I dunno.. it always runs out. But anyway its supposed to isn't it? So now I'm talking about time... :)) I love blogging... And since no one really reads my blogs I consider it as my online diary... But of course I'm still not sure if I want to tell everything about me in a blog that can be accessed by anyone... Right? or not...? Whatever.

So.. Shall I talk about the previous months... Yeah.. I think so.. Well.. The first half of 2011 had been a roller-coaster ride for my dear heart... Yeah.. it's always this poor heart of mine who was always affected about how things twist and turn... My month JANUARY was a blast of happiness but as Feb and March came... I don't know what had happened anymore.. Well not literally..You know.. Those kinds of events that you don't want to remember... You'll just say that you don't know how, what or why did it ever happened. Vague. What else? I said I'll talk about it but as I started to... I can't seem to. Oh crap! Now I'm lost. Hahaha! :))

Practically that's it... I can't force myself writing or talking about things that I don't want to. Haay! Wala na.. Tinamad na ulit ako. Hmmm... I just hope to have a meaningful practicum for PHN.