Goodbye A

"Be mindful of what you toss away, be careful what you throw away, and think hard before walking away."

I saw that quote while browsing and suddenly I thought of that friend of mine who's been MIA in my life for quite sometimes now... Well, she's always been like that... Distant. Full of excuses. Problem bearer. But no.. I don't hate her for being like that. She used to be one of my best friends.. And I loved her for who she WAS.

As time goes by... we barely see each other... and there's something inside me that felt like she doesn't really care whether we'll see each other again.
Hindi naman sa tinatapon ko na yung friendship namen... Yes I'll admit I got fed up. Pero sino ba naman kasi ang hindi magsasawa.. Lagi na lang ako yung nag-e-effort para makasama sya... Oo naiintindihan ko naman na busy na sya ngayon... Ibang level na yung pagkabusy niya.. kasi nga.. She has her own family now.. but then again, ever since nmn ganun na sya...

Haha! This post is long overdue... Probably started it a month ago or so?.. Anyways let's continue this since I'm kinda bummed.

I don't really know why I'm still writing/typing this... Let's just say na farewell gift? Oh diba? hanggang sa huli bongga padin sya... Sya yata unang ginawan ko ng ganito.. Farewell na may gift pa?.. Psh. Labo. O sige na nga.. Magsimula tayo sa simula.. (alangan naman sa huli?..) EH adik ka pala.. The end na kaya yung start.. Mas magandang i-explain diba? (Ewan ko! Bilisan mu na.. Mamayang konti tatamarin nnmn ako.) Bulsheeze! Baby Wappy this is all your effin fault!!! What's happening to me?!.. Aiish! (TagLishGul ang post! Taray! Hahaha!!) Ay putakte! Mamaya kana mag side comment dyan! Buset! (same to you) F!ck off! (Chill men, you didn't graduated from an exclusive school to cuss around everytime you feel like to!) UWAAAAHH! Please get off m'head! Just stop! Or better yet, I'll make a new post and dun tayo magsagutan!! Bet mo?! (Hinahamon mo ba ko?! Easy ka lng atey, sige na tapusin mo na 'to. Go!)

Once upon a time, six long years ago, there were four girls who met each other in their school... Four girls who came together because they have no choice but to be together.. (Skip the fairy tale blah blah just get right back to the point.) You seriously pissing me off! (Oh! it's my pleasure honey.) Just quit it!

Hay! Wala na ko sa mood. Basta CARD'z yung kinukwento ko kanina... We came a long way... Ako yung D if it isn't f!ckgn obvious. So ayun, lagi ko naman sinasabi na sila yung naging the best barkada ko.. NAGING.. Past part.. Kasi para sakin 4 kame.. Eh since wla nga yung balahurang tinutukoy ko dito sa post na 'to eh wala nang CARD'z para saken.. Oo nagkakasama padin kaming tatlo.. Pero 3 lang yun.. Kulang.. Hindi buo. Ewan ko.. I might sound so mean as always.. Lagi naman ako nami-miss-interpret.. Di na bago yun. Hindi ko naman sinasabing napakalaking part ng A nayan sa CARD'z.. Eh kahit kaya wala sya CRD'z padin ang basa.. MOUHAHAHAHA!! Pero di ko din sinasabi na hindi sya kawalan.. Kasi nga as I've said wala nang CARD'z para saken... Magulo ba..? Eh sadyang ganun... Wala namang maayos sa buhay e.. Diba nga "life is complicated" daw.. Pag maayos yan isa lang ibig sabihin nun... Wala ka nang buhay! HAHAHAHA!!

But kidding aside... Nalulungkot ako... Sa kanilang tatlo kasi.. Si A nmn tlga yung ka-close ko... Si C at si R (comfort room.. Wahahahaha..!) tongueina nag-eemote ako dibaaaa?! Kidding aside na nga eeh! (Ooopsie doopsie! My bad! Carry on.. Wag mokong pansinin...) si C at si R matagal nang mag kaibigan yan... Well, kami din nmn ni R.. Pero kasi mas malalim yata yung sa kanila.. Kaya un nga mas close ako kay A.. Eh tapos nawala bigla ang bruha! Hindi namin sya nakasabay grumaduate ng HS... Dun pa lang ang sama-sama na ng loob ko sa kanya.. Iniwan nia ko.. Pero I didn't give her up.. Pinuntahan pa namen sya nun eh.. Sya nga lang ang nagkaron ng surprise birthday thing saming apat eh! Hindi ako nagkwe-kwenta or nanunumbat.. Nagkwe-kwento lang ako... Wala sa bokabularyo ko ang manumbat. Pag nakikita naman namin sya lagi namang nawawala ulit..alam niyo yung all of a sudden wla na kaming contact sa kanya.. Ni Hindi namen alam kung buhay pa ba sya or what.. Tapos magpaparamdam nlng bigla at kukunin na kameng Ninang ng anak niya! Siya naman talaga yung pinaka matured samen... And sa kabila nung mga namiss niyang moments with us.. Tinanggap padin namen sya.. Kahit na alam kong one day she'll go away again... And taadaa! That day comes... We totally don't have any idea where she is now... Piña check namen sa classmate namen nung HS yung house nila.. Sabi samen parang wala na daw nakatira... "ABSENCE makes the heart grow fonder... But too much of it can make the heart forget." Pag sinabi kong na-mi-miss ko yung isang tao.. Gagawa at gagawa ako ng paraan para makita o makausap man lang sya.. Siguro nga I can't expect the same from others... May kanya-kanya tayong coping mechanisms eh... Pero, ano ba naman yung pagpapaalam diba?... Ok fine.. I get it, she hates goodbye. I do too. But I rather hear the word goodbye than be left out hanging without knowing whether to wait, expect or give-up. Mahirap mamimili kapag walang pinagpipilian... Kung tatanungin niyo ko kung nami-miss ko siya.. The answer is No. Kasi kung nami-miss ko sya pinuntahan ko na yung bahay nila.. May balita sana ako sa kanya.. I have all the means to find out where she is... But I chose not to. Ayoko na eh. Nakakapagod.. Nakakasawa. You guys might think na sobrang OA ko naman.. Eh pakialam ko ba sa iniisip niyo? Pag kaibigan ko kasi... Gusto ko lifetime kaibigan ko sya... Kaya nga konti lang yung tinatawag kong kaibigan eh.. Oo ganun kalalim ang salitang "kaibigan" sakin. yung tipong pang habambuhay... Pero Hindi nmn till death do us part ha! Kasal..?! Haha!! Wag ka! Kaibigan pa Lang yun... Eh diba nga as I've said she used to be one of my best friends. Mas malalim yun. But I get her point she don't want me to be a part of her life anymore... That's why she left without saying goodbye.. Fine.. I'm wicked... I'm concluding without knowing the reason why... Bullshit! Nakakasawa na ngang alamin eh! Besides, Kung ayaw nia na saken.. Hello??!!! Mas ayaw ko na sa kanya! Hmp! Ako na bipolar diba?!.. Whatever... Anyways.. Buti na nga lang meron pa kaming dalawang kaibigan.. Siyempre the two of them has their sides din and I can't force them to let go and forget A like I'm doing... Syempre best friend din nila yung babaita na yun.. So bahala sila.. Haha!!

Masyado bang big deal 'tong buhay ng barkada na 'to..? Eh ganun talaga... Unique kame eh... Pero sa part ko... Ang nakapagpatagal sakin sa CARD'z ay yung sinabi ng mentor namin sa CARD na binigay nia.. Well I forgot the exact word but it goes like: "I challenge you to make this friendship lasts a lifetime." eh ayun..nung nabasa ko yun parang naisip ko na ang sarap lang kasi ng feeling na may kaibigan kang matagal.. Sobrang tagal na para na kayong magkapatid.. Naaalala ko pa nung bata ako... May picture si mama with her group of friends.. All girls.. Madami sila.. Friendly talaga yung nanay ko eh.. One thing na di ko namana.. Haha! Then i asked my mama who and where are the people on that picture with her.. Sabi nia hindi ko daw kilala yung mga yun.. Friends nia daw nung high school sya.. Barkada daw sila e.. Pero wala na syang balita.. Nalunkot ako nun eh.. Sabi ko gusto ko pag nagkoaron ako ng barkada di kame mawawalan ng balita sa isa't-isa.. So nung nabasa ko yung challenge ni dhad, I said to my self: "I'll take that challenge." But then again I was sixteen then.. Young, naive and foolish... HAHAHAHA!!

Anaknampitumputpitongputingtupa naman yan oo! Di ko pa nga napa-publish at natatapos tong post na 'to eh biglaan naman sya nagparamdam! May new acct sya sa FB! At ayun si ate.. Inadd ako at may kasama pang message na "belated happy anniversary!! :) miss you bhezst's" f!ck that men! Ay ewan bahala sya sa buhay nia... Pero it's so creepy.. Just when I'm about to post it bigla-bigla may friend request ako from her?! Psh. Anu yun..? Na feel nia??! Sheeze! Once I publish it there's no more backing out.. I hate taking back my words! Aiish! But for the sake of all that's holy... Fine. I won't forget her and all... I just won't be so attached with her anymore... Hindi ko na sya best friend eh! Hmp!

Isip bata, bipolar, multiple personality disorder.. Oo na, ako na lahat yan... Pero may pinanggagalingan nmn lahat yan... I'm so done making the first move to find or talk to her... I'm so done being her best friend... I'm so done thinking about her state of being.. I'm so done caring about her! I'm so done with her. And for the last time... This is the best quote for her: "if you want it you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse." goodbye A... I can no longer tolerate you... Thanks for the memories anyway.. Oh yeah.. You need not to worry... I know my responsibilities as Wayne's godmother. It's all up to you.

So?

I'm the most boring person alive! Oh gee! This'll be a random post.. Why?... Cause I just felt like it! Aiish! I'm so pissed.. Was planning to catch up on my fave TV series.. But for Pete's sake! The video keeps buffering every now and then! It's been an hour already! Holy sheez!

So? How's my life??.. Well... I'm kinda bored with it. I'm such a lazy brat.. Actually it took me forever to make a blog... Though I can grab my iPad, my phone or my lap top anytime, I just can't! I dunno to me self. Damn. There's so much going on in and out of my head... There's so much to do but I'm so bummed to do it all... It sucks to be me. How many times have I planned to quit blogging..? Countless. But here I am.. Still blogging. Weird eh?..

Psh. As if someone's reading this? Well I don't care... It's just my effin' way to vent things out. Yeah, whatever... Okay,  just ran out of words to say.. Ciao!

RIP My Feline Friend, Rain

RIP Rain. May 2, 2012-August 16, 2012 

My cat named Rain died this afternoon... I guess she's the first pet that died in our care.. or so the first one I'll remember...

Rain is the daughter of my original cat MiHo. She was born with three sisters... Her fur like her mom is pure white... And there's this song with a lyrics that goes "I heard her face was WHITE as RAIN"... and I love rain. That's how she got her name... At first, I prefer her siblings over her... Because dirt easily accumulates in her eyes and nose.. But as time goes by, I found myself closer to her than any of the other three... Practically because it's been my hobby to clean her face.
She has this hazel left eye and blue right eye.


She's a sweet little Kitty. My dog Saudia and her always play around. And she's like a squirrel! She loves to jump on people. One time she jumped on me and her nails scratch my thigh! I was so pissed that I managed to throw her away... But after a minute or so.. She went close to me and I can't help but hug her and say sorry for throwing her. Yeah she's sweet like that.

I feel like I'm an irresponsible pet owner. I left her. ToT She was vomiting since yesterday morning.. But I just let her be like that I thought that she'll be ok like her mom... But I though wrong. TToTT This noon I came home and find her in a pitiful state. She can barely move..  When you look at her you'll thought that she's dead if not only for her ragged breathing you'll not think that she's still alive... I made her eat sugar and she responded. I talked to her and ask her to wait for me... Because I'll just buy her meds... When I came back she's still there. She waited for me... I made her drink the medicine that I bought and the hydrate solution that I made... Then I left her again... For the second time I thought that she'll get through it. I thought that she'll live and be hyper again. And for the second time... I thought wrong. My papa texted me at about 5 o'clock in the afternoon... only to tell me that Rain is dead. I was devastated. I feel so bad for her. And my feeling worsen because I can't give her a decent grave. T___T
Papa said that maybe she's not meant for us. But I hope in her little time, she enjoyed her stay with us. I love her. And I'll definitely miss her. Thank you  and goodbye dear Rain... We love you... We miss you.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

Something to Ponder Upon

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Something worth sharing... :") I miss sitting inside a class... Nostalgia is tha name of the game. :))

XxOo

Euphoric Exaltation

Oh geez! Look at my puffy eyes! Hahaha!!! I was wide awake all night! I don't know.. I just can't contain myself... I didn't know how to react and respond.. I was in euphoric state the whole night! And mind you.. I still am right at this very moment... I wanted to post a blog right after I got the good news.. But I suddenly ran out of words! For Pete's sake! I didn't even know why I'm so speechless! Hahaha!!

I never knew that this is how the idiom "I'm on a cloud nine" feels like... For the first time in my existence... I felt the meaning of the word "contentment". For the first time in my life.. I feel happy and contented with myself.

"Contentment starts with thankful hearts."

Every morning of everyday that message can be read inside my room and I always ask my self: am I contented? When can I ever felt that contentment?

I graduated from college... It was a great achievement for any individual... But not for me... I told myself: unless I pass the board exam I will never feel happy about finishing my degree. For months I've been living with my irregular heartbeat as the day of taking the board exam approaches.. So much worries, stress and doubts reign inside me... Yes I doubted my self.. But I pushed all the negative thoughts away at the back of my mind and think or rather invented positive ones... And taadaa!! I made it out alive! And they say opposites attract??.. Oh no! I'm not going to that argument.. Hahaha!!

Thankful hearts you say?? Oh! My heart is filled with so much gratitude...

First and foremost to God. I can never make it without Him by my side. The night before the exam.. I surrender everything to Him.. I was talking to Him while I was taking the exam and after the exam... I did nothing but to childishly nag and bother Him with the same prayer over and over every millisecond I got... And I feel like a spoiled brat! My Father in Heaven answered my prayers! A simple thank you will not suffice... I actually feel that I don't deserve it.. But He still gave it to me. The word "thank you" can never be strong enough.. I full heartedly offer this achievement to Him! And that in everything that I do.. He may always be glorified. There's nothing impossible with HIM.❤

My family who always believed in me.. Who never cease to encourage me... I am nothing without you. I love you with all my heart and soul. Each one of you were and always will be my inspiration.

To my dearest friends.. Gosh! I don't know how to thank each and everyone of you.. My best friends who's been patiently dealing with me and my mood swings all these years.. Haha! For all who prayed hard with and for me.. I love y'all! A big thank you to YOU!

My professors from SSC and all of my other mentors from the past... For all of you who touched and nurture my mind and heart.. To all of you who never ran out of patience and to all of you who believed in me..Thank you for all the lessons whether in acads or in life.. You're all part of this achievement!

To my three fellow board passers from SSC... We made it! The goal that we set... 100% passing rate for Nutrition & Dietetics department of St. Scholastica's College.. We dreamed and prayed hard together... And we did it! So proud of us!!!

There's no doubt that everything pays off... I loathed my review class because I lost my baby 4S.. I'm not saying that it's worth the loss.. I cried over that phone when I lost it... But then I believe in the saying that when you lose something good.. A better thing will come along. And I can't think of anything better than this achievement. This kind of thing that I can share with everyone around me. It's been the most pure amazing, inspirational,surreal, bizarre, wonderful feeling I've ever felt in my existence...

Okay.. The last sentence on the last paragraph is from my Dan Radcliffe... Hahaha! Mind you.. He's a part of this too! I'm one step closer to him... Yay! MOUHAHAHA!! Call me crazy or whatever but I do love that man!

My Tito told me that the board exam is a test for maturity... Omgsh! I'm matured for real? Hahahaha!! I just can't believe it!

Ms. Daniella V. Marquez, RND

Bubblegum Blue ^__*

I'm dazzled with this effin color... I've never liked any color more than pink since I was born.. But this is amazingly different! It's refreshing to my eyes and it soothes my soul... I don't know what's with it actually.. And it's hard to describe it.. I don't know what to call this color.. I tried to google and according to my pareng google it's called turquoise... But it's not for me... Turquoise is more of the ocean blue.. The color of the water.. Close to blue green.. But it isn't what I was talking about.. It's not blue green.. Close enough but no. Then they said its called pastel blue.. But still.. No. Pastel blue is closest to sky blue.. And that's still not it. So I choose to call it bubblegum blue... ^__~

It's weird. I know. But I just fell in love with this color.. It actually happened last May.. I was riding a jeepney and there came a cute guy wearing a shirt with that color.. I build a fascination with that color ever since that day.. It's a color that gets my attention.. And it's a good match with pink! ❤

Boombooroomboomboom!

Waiting is exhausting! Geez! My heart felt like jumping out of its place! My poor irregular heartbeat... It's been beating like this for the past hella months... >__< and well.. It is not good! there's only one thing that can put it back to its normal rate.. And that is when I finally confirmed my passing rate! (am not sure how it's called) I should be optimistic.. I've been praying hard for it.. And I know I did my best! I don't know what else to do while waiting... It's eating me all up!

About Me Daw :))

1. What is you favorite color?
> pink, black, bubble gum blue (^O^)
2. What is your favorite Holiday?
>Christmas ヽ(^。^)ノ
3. Do you like thunderstorms?
>yes. ヽ(^。^)ノ
4. Favorite movie of all time?
>Harry Potter baby! (>^ω^<)
5. Do you like someone?
>Yup. =￣ω￣=
6. Ever been to a concert?
>Yes.
7. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
>3 piercings no tattoos.
8. Do you love someone?
>YUP. ~^O^~
9. What is your favorite food?
>medium rare steak! (*^﹏^*)
10. Ever rode a horse?
>Once.. but I forgot how it feels! I wanna ride again! -_-
11. Ever rode a motorcycle?
>no.
12. On a sunny day, you're most likely doing what?
>doing what I'm supposed to be doing... ˋωˊ
13. Are you happy?
>Not much..
14. What is your biggest fear?
>snakes and roaches!
15. Ever had your heart broken?
>I don't know... I'm not really sure... :))
16. Are you friendly?
>NO.  As in NO.  :))
17. Ever been in a car accident?
>Not yet.. hoping not to. -_-
18. Have you ever been in love?
>not really... haha! I mean I'm not sure as well :))
19. Do you have trust issues?
>Yeah..
20. Do you get along with your parents?
>yup.
21. Do you get along with your siblings?
>I have only one and yes I get along with him.. :))

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6