Some Things to Talk About

Uhmm..? haha!! :)) Here I am again.. In my favorite cafe.. :) I love it here because the baristas here already knows me.. So anyways this post won't actually be about how or why do I love to be here... Hmm.. I'll talk about some random things...

First of... Let's talk about how the first sem of my third year in college went.. So last June when the class resume I did not thought things will turn out on how they did... Well to be honest I know it'll come to this.. But I just thought it'll take a long time... Well basically things happen because we let it. Right? Or not?? I dunno maybe not all will agree to that., but that's what I think... So this was my choice... And when we made a choice, it's human nature for others to judge you... It's naive I know... But that's how it is... So what did actually happen??? Basically I've got no friends among my blockmates... Now., this is the first and the last time I'm gonna talk about this... Well I did speak this out to my friends but I never actually told anyone about how I feel about it... I know this is a waste of time... But since it's sem break.. Just let me waste my time.. Ok?? So let's go back months ago... Probably on the start of this first sem.. I was totally bummed because my two best friends in ND department was both gone... Nozomi fly off to Japan and Maricar shifted to another course... But I took it as nothing because the end of last SY was good.. Now, that time... Maricar and I was still not in talking terms... Well I dunno how to explain some things between the two of us... But she's my first ever friend in college.. We fight. Stop talking to each other but definitely we get ok in no time... So before this sem start I know we're in good terms... But my batchmates don't totally like her and I on the other hand wants to be ok with all my batchmates so I don't totally talk to her and we barely see each other. Now my batchmates and  one of our professor was not totally cool with each other... I don't know why but they don't get along so well... But I do get to talk with that professor.. Ok.. Why am I not naming names?? hahaha!! that professor was Ms. Tesalona... I don't have any problem with her nor with my batchmates that time.. We hang out together..eat lunch together and run late for our class...Then one time I'm out together with them.. Danna from Bio and Kesiah our previous batchmate (she tranfered at MDC because of AM and Miss Tesa according to my batchmates) was with us that night... Oh no..before that Maxene from Educ was with us first.. she talks about one of our classmate from educ.. That classmate of ours really has an unexplainable attitude (well we all does.) and Maxene was telling us that she got BO and that she don't take a bath before going to school and that she got no friends anymore... Now my ND batchmates who were always mean commented nonstop... While they're making their comments I was like "something's really wrong here"... Then I thought "how do they talk when I'm not with them? Do they talk about me like this??" yeah.. I know it's paranoia... So that passed... Night came and Danna and Kesiah had joined us... Talking over dinner... Danna mentioned she saw Maricar that afternoon... April commented saying "wala akong pakialam sa kanya" and another sets of meaner comments came out... I was just there sitting in silent.. Then Danna said "wag kayong ganyan.. Friend ni Danie yun." And that sentence brought it all out... I started thinking: "What am I doing here with them? Why am I forcing myself to be with them? I can go along without them...Why do I let them say mean things to my friend???" Then as far as I remember that's the last time I went out with them... We got Saturday classes that requires me to be with them..but as much as possible I tend not to be with them... Simply because I don't like myself when I'm with them.

So it went on like that... You'll actually feel when someone don't like you right?? And I start feeling that they don't want to be around with me... But for me it's  fine.. At least I don't need to pretend that I love being with them and that I'm happy with them.. So yeah... I thought that everything was going fine... Besides only one of them don't talk to me... Yanyan. I don't know why but she just really won't talk to me... But it's not as if I care... So that's the set up for almost the whole sem... Until before it ended. Miss Tesalona asked me one time if I'm alright because she hears I was being bullied on facebook... Then I told her that I really don't know anything about it at that time... So I checked upon their pages.. Then presto! I saw it... They did not put my name but everything was suppose to be against me... I won't react if I'm the only one who noticed it... But even the 4th years think it was me.. So there... The feud began when I answered their posts...It was from Yanyan and Cha's wall..April, Neala and Dianne don't have any post about me... I'm not actually fond of entertaining non sense things like that... I prefer to talk things in person... But that's how they want it...(just gave them what they wanted) Humiliating people behind the screen of their PCs... I guess that's how far they can go... And it's pathetic and boring and pointless and annoying... It'll also be fine with me if there's just my ND batchmates.. But no... Our class rep from educ dept. got something to say bout me as well... Now that thing, pisses me off... I didn't do anything to her... Kristel don't know my side...she just listen to them..and in that way... she sucks big time! Now, I don't hate Kristel... I just don't like her anymore... Before these incidents... I thought of her as nice and unjudgemental person... But obviously I was wrong upon those assumptions of mine.. I asked April what did they say to Kristel to make her go mad like that... But April said it wasn't all of them... Said that it was Dianne who tells things to educ people. So practically.., I don't really have anyone to trust among my batch mates... One time AM and I talked and she told me that it was Dianne who calls everyone up when I commented/answered on their post... It's pathetic isn't it?? AM also told me that they talk about how I dress.. For me it's like: "what the f!!? The hell they care about how I dress??!!" When I told one of my best friend about this she said: "ganun talaga 'pag ikaw ang gustong pag-usapan... Lahat papansinin"

Right now, I don't hate them... I feel noting for them.... And this post will be the last time I'll ever talk about them and their shits... I don't want to give them my attention anymore... I guess I've gave them the message anyway... That I'm not someone whom they can bring down in a snap... I fight for myself. I'm always for the truth. And that I don't really care about what they think of me. Now, if none of that was clear enough for them... Then that's not my problem anymore. I won't answer their nonsense posts on facebook wall anymore. Again, this is the last. I promise.

I'm uncertain about the future... Not sure what will happen... But one thing's for sure.. I'll be ready for anything now. I won't trust much and I'll just let God handle the things beyond my control. I offer all of them to God. May God bless them always.

That in all things... God may be glorified!!! :)