"You can't lose something that you never had"... Been there... But losing something that wasn't yours is a whole lot easier than losing something precious to you.. And it's not that easy to see or to think that that something that once yours already belongs to someone else.
Yikes ah! This sounds like a break-up thing with a boyfriend... Hahaha!!! But it isn't... Haay! I dunno exactly how to talk about it... You must be a member of my family to understand this... So if you're not.. Y' better stop reading (assuming...? it's as if I have a lot of readers...? hahaha!)
Once I have a best friend... She's six months older than me... Ever since I was born she was beside me already... She's my cousin but more like of a sister to me... We are sisters indeed. We were together everyday of our childhood... She's a cry baby and I always stands up for her. We grew up together... Made dreams together... Made promises to each other.. We were the best of friends... I know all her secrets and she knows mine... Until my 2nd year and her 3rd year in HS came... Our strongest bond of friendship was terribly shaken... And got it's first and biggest crack... Because of a broken promise... Because of a filthy creature (ugh.. i don't even want to talk about that filth... :| but it's the reason of this bullshit!). That same year.. I felt that we've been torn apart... Probably because of the undying secrets and lies... I feel so stupid one time when she begged me to accompany her to break-up with that disgusting.. filthy creature. I accompanied her and I even nag at that disgusting filthy creature. Then just for a day or two... They're back together again! Secrets and lies piling up... The crack on our friendship.. Little by little makes it more vulnerable... I tried to fix it.. In spite loathing that disgusting filthy creature... I tried to bear with it.. I tried to understand my best friend. I tried to open my self... I tried to think that that filthy creature is different from it's lots... Believe me, I even tried to befriend that... But I failed. Because the truth screams and haunts... That disgusting.. filthy creature doesn't deserve my sister. But there's nothing to fight for... I once told her that I don't like that creature she loves not because of the same reason that our folks have but because that disgusting filthy creature took my best friend away... She didn't talk for quite long then she was crying and she said that her love for us (her family) is different from her love to that disgusting filthy creature... And I said: "You love him more" then again... Silence fill us in. From that, I knew for a fact that she was inflicted with madness kind of a disease by that disgusting, filthy creature... I knew for a fact that it will be hard to get my old best friend back... She had changed so much... She became a stranger to me... And now... Not just to me... She became stranger to all of us... She made her choice... And she choose that disgusting.. filthy creature.
I never stayed quiet about this issue... I loathed that guy who stole my sister, my best friend away from us... I even got scolded for posting mean things or words on m' fb wall about that disgusting.. filthy creature. But I never spoke my heart out about her... My poor best friend/sister... Well, I hate what she did. I hate how she turns her back on her brother..her parents, on Nanay who raised her and to us all.. Her family. I was thinking what if I didn't let our friendship be ruined..? What if I didn't mind looking like stupid..? What if I did befriend that filthy creature..? What if I helped her sneak out or kept her secrets and lies..? What if I stood for her like before..? Would it made a different..? I feel so bad as I think of it now... I can feel her loneliness... What if she just need someone to talk to..? And she felt that no one was there for her... She felt alone... And I wasn't able to do anything for my best friend... It sickens me... But I have too much respect on my aunt and uncle... For me to help her sneak out... For me stand up for her.. It's absurd. How can you possibly stand up for something that you know isn't right...? She's the only one loving him.. That disgusting.. filthy creature doesn't love her back. And it's a fact. It's been proven lots of times. I might appear like I don't care because I don't want to talk about it... But it saddens the whole part of my being.
I never stayed quiet about this issue... I loathed that guy who stole my sister, my best friend away from us... I even got scolded for posting mean things or words on m' fb wall about that disgusting.. filthy creature. But I never spoke my heart out about her... My poor best friend/sister... Well, I hate what she did. I hate how she turns her back on her brother..her parents, on Nanay who raised her and to us all.. Her family. I was thinking what if I didn't let our friendship be ruined..? What if I didn't mind looking like stupid..? What if I did befriend that filthy creature..? What if I helped her sneak out or kept her secrets and lies..? What if I stood for her like before..? Would it made a different..? I feel so bad as I think of it now... I can feel her loneliness... What if she just need someone to talk to..? And she felt that no one was there for her... She felt alone... And I wasn't able to do anything for my best friend... It sickens me... But I have too much respect on my aunt and uncle... For me to help her sneak out... For me stand up for her.. It's absurd. How can you possibly stand up for something that you know isn't right...? She's the only one loving him.. That disgusting.. filthy creature doesn't love her back. And it's a fact. It's been proven lots of times. I might appear like I don't care because I don't want to talk about it... But it saddens the whole part of my being.
Just because you've known a person all your life doesn't mean you know them completely.I'm praying for her to come back into her senses... For me family is everything.. And without their family someone means nothing. Things may never go back on how they used to be; but at least... I believe we can do so much to make it better. We'll wait for you Ate Cheska! I know you'll come back... Just wake up from that nightmare you're in.. Realize your mistakes and be sorry for it..all will be forgiven... After all... We're a FAMILY.
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